Monday, April 4, 2011

The Ice Queen Cometh

It's been many years since Hollywood has encountered a woman so deceitful, so vengeful that she is willing to walk over anyone to get what she wants.

Meet the Ice Queen.  She's been in town for a number of years, but has just recently seen her hard work pay off.  The stunning woman cannot help be be linked up to any guys she shares a hello with, yet plays it coy and innocent.  Don't they all?

You see, the Ice Queen and I go back a bit.  She and McHottie are old friends, and may have actually be linked together in the past, for bearding purposes only.  But even though McHottie and I went our separate ways, Ice Queen and I stayed close.  That is until she discovered the her new found single status could work in her favor.

She tagged along with me to a party one night and left with a huge movie role.  As I marveled at how she scored such a gig in one evening, she mentioned that the married man who gave her the role liked it that she took it in the ass in the bathroom for him.

The night of her mother's birthday, Ice Queen was coked up in a hotel room with the same A-List name.  He was her co-star, so maybe it was research.

But to top it all off, Ice Queen ended up with a bun in her oven.  Who's it was was anyone's guess.  Well except Scruffy St.Duck, the married man.  Ice quickly took care of the problem, there was no way she was throwing it all away now.

Ice has turned on all of her former friends and co-stars.  She has talked all over town at how her ex-boyfriend had an eye for the guys and liked to cuddle more than have sex.  She even dissed a family member who might have got a bit part in her film because she didn't want to share the spotlight.

Ice Queen is working hard to stay in her throne before she is ousted.  She knows that her window is very small, and she is determined to become the next Julia Roberts.  Someone should tell her that Pretty Woman was a movie and that's not how Julia really got started.


Ice Queen Isn't:

McHottie Isn't:
Scruffy St.Duck Isn't
at

22 comments:

  1. Samantha T-WApril 4, 2011 at 1:41 PM

    Blake Lively?

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousApril 4, 2011 at 4:00 PM

    Blake Lively
    Penn Badgley
    Affleck

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousApril 4, 2011 at 4:00 PM

    I thought of Blake Lively or Ashley Greene

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  4. FrenchGirlApril 4, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    i like Blake Lively/Badgley/Affleck guess

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  5. AnonymousApril 4, 2011 at 4:14 PM

    I don't think Blake fits. She hasn't been in Hollywood for "many years".

    Maybe Emma Roberts? She is Julia's niece after all.

    ReplyDelete
  6. DaveApril 4, 2011 at 4:28 PM

    Blake Lively
    Chace Crawford
    Ben Affleck.

    GB has said in the past that McHottie is the same person as Ted C's Crescent Kumquat, which is thought to be Chace.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousApril 4, 2011 at 6:34 PM

    I think it's Ashley Greene, with the ex being Joe Jonas

    Here she is with Chace Crawford!

    http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b138620_ashley_greene_chace_crawford_new_couple.html

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousApril 4, 2011 at 10:36 PM

    I like the Ashley Greene idea, but she hasn't really had any films with proper A-Listers, has she?

    I go with Blake. She's recently very often in the media. Married man would be Affleck, other A lister would be Reynolds. The bearding would be for Chace.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousApril 5, 2011 at 2:45 AM

    Well, I can see Blake Lively being a bitch, but is she famous enough?

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousApril 5, 2011 at 7:32 AM

    Why do I think Natalie Portman?

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousApril 5, 2011 at 7:32 AM

    Why do I think Natalie Portman?

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousApril 5, 2011 at 8:22 AM

    Blake and Ben."She's been in town " gives it away

    ReplyDelete
  13. Homo GeniusApril 5, 2011 at 1:30 PM

    Something I always thought was strange was that when Blake was supposed to be dating Penn, you never saw them together. Seems like they would have been milking the publicity. She was out and about a lot at events...solo.

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  14. DaveApril 5, 2011 at 3:35 PM

    Also, could "Scruffy St Duck" be a reference to the Aflac duck = Afflek by any chance? :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. E DoubleApril 5, 2011 at 7:43 PM

    If it is Blake Lively, Scruffy St. Duck would be Harvey Weinstein would it not?

    A List name in hotel room on mom's birthday could be Affleck then.

    ReplyDelete
  16. KristenApril 11, 2011 at 1:46 AM

    I don't think it's Blake. Are she and Chace old friends? And I don't remember them ever being linked romantically. She was always linked to Penn, her real ex-boyfriend.

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousApril 11, 2011 at 3:09 AM

    Could McHottie be Penn? Maybe GB has been throwing us off this whole time. Or is GB Matthew Morrison? He and Chace are pretty friendly.

    ReplyDelete
  18. OhioGirlApril 11, 2011 at 8:15 AM

    Natalie Portman.

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousApril 11, 2011 at 5:10 PM

    Amanda Seyfried?

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousApril 19, 2011 at 11:48 AM

    So a week later, GB has seemingly notted both Craford and Badgely - and Westwick was notted outright. Lively knew Badgely as kids, but did not know Crawford - so if you rule Lively out, who does that leave?

    I'm not a Twilight fan, and I really don't know enough about Ashley Green to figure out if she's a good candidate, but I'm actually more curious who's McHottie... still kindof want to find a loophole to call Crawford for that one.

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  21. shallow endApril 26, 2011 at 5:42 PM

    Amanda Michalka
    Hunter Parrish
    JJ Abrahms

    ReplyDelete
  22. VickyMay 25, 2011 at 7:14 PM

    January Jones

    ReplyDelete

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