Gwyneth Paltrow Was Drunk During Filming

Gwyneth Paltrow revealed today that she got into her Country Strong character as much as she could, but staying drunk during filming to portray the alcoholic country singer.

"You just get really drunk all the time.  Which is awesome," she revealed on Rachael Ray's talk show.  Paltrow claimed that she would start with a bloody mary around 10 am and keep it going all day long.

It's a good thing that Gwyneth has such will power and didn't keep up the character after filming.  If she wins an Oscar, she had better remember to thank Grey Goose.

Fash Bash

Ashley Greene

Mavis Beyotch: Even though it looks slightly like she's wearing a bed sheet, it's simple and elegant.  Vive le bed sheet!
Kate's Evil Twin: The bed sheet, really Nikki?  Aren't you dating some bazillionaire left over who used to date Paris Hilton?  Did Paris Hilton sneak in one night with the spare key and take all your good clothes?  Wait.  *listens*  So.... apparently this is NOT Nikki Reed.  This is some other interchangeable actress who plays a vampire. Whatever, it's still a bed sheet.
Gossip Boy: Dude, you got the money you wanted, you can stop playing the poor girl and wearing your linens.

 Madonna

Mavis Beyotch: Poor dear.  She is somehow confused and believes that she's still in Dick Tracey...this time as  Dick Tracey.  Must be that hot young cabana boy she has.  Has made her brain just the tiniest bit squishy.

Kate's Evil Twin: Here are my keys.  It's a black Audi.  Don't scratch it this time and don't drive it too fast around the block or you won't get Mr. George Washington here.

Gossip Boy: What the F*ck?

 Nikki Reed

Mavis Beyotch: So this is how the swan dress that silly Bjorck wore years ago was recycled.  Either that, or she has a serious addiction to chicken, and doesn't know what to do with the feathers.

Kate's Evil Twin: So THIS is Nikki Reed.  Honey, Kristen is pulling off the random figure skater dress much better than you.  It's all about the accessories.  See below.

Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner

Mavis Beyotch: I wonder what terrible accident happened on the way that caused the sleeve to fall off.  Maybe that werewolf got a bit peckish.  But I'm happy she hooked up with those nice gentlemen from the 50s skiffle band.

Kate's Evil Twin: Oh hallo boys.  Brava Kristen, brava!  You see, Kristen here is following all of the Kate Bosworth fashion rules.  When in doubt about your questionably fashionable cotton ball dress, accessorize with a young hot, presumably gay actor.  Or two.  Always keep a spare penis on hand, I always say. And a breath mint.  Three cheers for Kristen!

Gossip Boy: Eenie, meanie, miney mo, which of these people looks like a big ole mo?  That's right, I said it.

 Gwyneth Paltrow

Mavis Beyotch: I am sure when this dress is finished it will be lovely.  What?  It is?  I am so embarrassed.

Kate's Evil Twin: Dear Gwyneth, What's going on?  I haven't seen you in ages!!!  I miss our girl time at the spa; colonics, detoxes, botoxes, talking about boys and all those things that Chris does that drive you crazy.  I kept a list you know, like good friends do.  I see you're still living out of a suitcase, fashioning dresses from tablecloths.  Please call if you want to borrow a dress that wasn't sewn by child laborers named Apple.  Love you miss you! Kate's Evil Twin.

Victoria Beckham

Mavis Beyotch: Channeling the 90s.  When the Spice Girls mattered, even ever so slightly.  And when she last ate something other than paper towels.

Kate's Evil Twin: I'm too scared to criticize this outfit.  Have you heard what fembots from outerspace can do to a 98 lb waif like myself??  

Gossip Boy: Start saving for that hip replacement you are going to need.

 Jessica Alba

Mavis Beyotch: This is what happens when bad clothes happen to beautiful people.  You forget that they're beautiful and just concentrate on the ugly.

Kate's Evil Twin:The first student in Victoria Beckham's Fembot from Outerspace School for Desperately Edgy Actresses.  First lesson.  Master the bitchface, Jessica, or people will keep laughing at your shoes.  And your hair.

Khloe Kardashian

Mavis Beyotch: I think it's very sweet of her mother to not have ever told her she was the chubby, unattractive sister.  However, it's now time for someone to do that.

Kate's Evil Twin: As anyone who follows me on Twitter (@kateseviltwin) knows, I am a bevy of incredibly astute fashion advice.  One of the questions I get asked over and over again is, "how should a fat girl dress?"  (I'm currently in the process of eliminating all fat followers, but never mind).  Khloe, please follow me on twitter because you are breaking ALL THE RULES. 1. Wear black. 2. Don't show skin (ew.) 3. Spanx are more than your sister's favorite bedroom activity. See you on twitter!

Fash Bash

Gossip Boy's Fashion Police is back. We have a new addition to the team and it just happens to be Kate Bosworth's Evil Twin. This woman is nothing like Kate, she actually swallows her food. But she is much more evil than Kate which makes us love her even more. She joins Mavis Beyotch as they tear apart celebs for their sad choice in clothing.

Cate Blanchett

Mavis Beyotch: I love Cate Blancett.  However, I’m not sure why she let Tilda Swinton style her for the evening.  Also, dearest, please eat a cookie.  Or two.

Kate's Evil Twin: So my ex-boyfriend, Orlando, used to make me watch this movie about Queen Elizabeth saying Cate Blanchett was all "talented" and "mindblowing" and "Oscar- worthy" but  I didn't see what was so great about it.  They never even showed Princess Diana.  I don't get why Cate can wear this and be "fierce" and "provocative" but if I, the evil twin of Kate Bosworth, showed up in an outfit made up of a deflated mylar balloon and an emergency blanket, all I would hear is, "trashy whore," "recycle, much?" and "eat a sandwich, Kate!"  Life is so unfair!

Gossip Boy: Cate seems to have not let go of the fact she wasn't chosen to play Tin Man in the Wizard Of Oz remake.

Catherine Zeta Jones

Mavis Beyotch: In support of the marine life in the Gulf of Mexico, CZJ drapes a quite nice powder blue gown with a fishnet.  I’m not sure how it helps the oil soaked fish, but…power to you, Cath!

Gossip Boy: I think that this dress is gorgeous!  Now if only she could get her face to move as freely.

 Lea Michele

Mavis Beyotch: How can you see with all that hair in your face?  (Sorry, am channeling my own dear mama with that).  Perhaps that’s the excuse Lea has for not remembering to put on a dress.

Kate's Evil Twin: 

Distractingly awful hair?  Check.
Smug smirk? Check.
Dirty beige color that drains all life from the wearer and anyone within 10 feet?  Check.
A dress that tries to be sexy but just ends up looking cheap and sort of disturbingly slutty?  Check.

Um, Lea?  YOU HAVE STOLEN KATE BOSWORTH'S LOOK.  Give it back, bitch.

Gossip Boy: Okay Lea, we get it.  You think your sexy. But no matter how much bra you flaunt, he is still gonna be gay at the end of the day.

 Mavis Beyotch: Kristen Chenoweth looks like a very perky Stepford Wife wearing a very sparkly bath towel.  In Vegas.  In the 1960s.

Gossip Boy: Um....sorry I got distracted by all of the sparkles.  

 Gwyneth Paltrow

Mavis Beyotch: I also pair my Chanel jacket with my Gap shorts.  When I’ve had a bit too much of the sherry.

Kate's Evil Twin: Dear Chris: Hey, how are you?  I am fine.  It's been a while.  I've been thinking about you. ;-) I saw a picture of Gwyneth and I guess you finally kicked her out because she looked like she had to leave in a hurry and toss whatever was clean into a surprisingly small suitcase and then wear it all at once, even if she looked like Perimenopausal Coco Chanel. Call me, EvilKate.

Gossip Boy: The rich bitch equivalent to bumming it in daisy dukes.

Michelle Williams 

Mavis Beyotch: Personally, I blame the latest vampire craze for the influx of Morticia Addams dresses.  That, or Bebe Neuwirth is a fashion power player and I’m not aware of it.

Kate's Evil Twin: Oh Halle Berry, get your sexy model boy toy back because apparently he took your hotness with him when he moved out.

Gossip Boy: It's like cat woman mixed with Barney and a dash of Rihanna's hair.

 Jessica Alba

Mavis Beyotch: If anyone needed a poster child for reasons why NOT to have children, Jessica’s post motherhood wardrobe gives her an edge.

Gossip Boy: Does she know we can actually see her?

Katie Holmes

Mavis Beyotch: Mrs. Cruise has obviously turned to doughnuts to assuage her life in Scientology prison.  Either that, or the dress shrunk in the wash.

Gossip Boy: How embarrassing to accidentally put on your smaller husband's dress instead of your own!  That's the downfall of sharing the same taste as Tom.

Gwyneth Paltrow Throws Stones

On Thursday night, seemingly sweet Gwynnie will make a guest appearance on NBC's The Marriage Ref and I just have one word.  Really?

Gwynnie is going on a show that is supposed to help couples who are having an argument or something crazy like that.  I am not a big fan of reality television, no matter what they seem to conjure up.  But the irony of Gwyneth going on this show amuses me.

I believe that she belongs on the show, but not as a guest.  She and Chris Martin should sign up to appear on the show, maybe bring a little Bosworth along for the ride.  I mean, how an you give advice when you can't seem to get your husband to keep from diddling another anorexic blond?

Hell, if they manage to get Kate they might as well bring Alexander. 

Iron Man 2 Poster

Since I have been on a rant about movie posters, it felt fitting to display the new poster that was just released for Iron Man 2.  I also found out that some fans take this opportunity to save the pictures as their new wallpaper, you know who you are. :-)

This poster is well enough I guess.  I mean they took the chance that they had to display as much of Scarlett Johansson's T&A as they could, but left everyone else missing half of their body.  It's good to see Gwyneth on a movie poster again, but she is unrecognizable I think.

Either way, I give this poster 3 Rainbows out of 5.