VMA Wrap-Up

So the MTV VMA's went off last night with just a couple glitches.  Lady Gaga came as a man, Nicki Minaj came as Lady Gaga, Katy Perry came as Nicki Minaj and Jay-Z came in Beyonce as she announced that she is expecting her own little diva, who I am sure will come out with her own wind machine.  I read that Beyonce's pregnancy wasn't that shocking since she had never been seen with that many clothes on.

•   Selena Gomez was a host for the MTV Pre-Show and spent the evening pretending to be a journalist.  From pretending to still being BFF with Demi Lovato to asking boyfriend Justin Bieber was his snakes name was, even though she has been playing with it for months.

•  Kanye West and Jay-Z surprised the audience with a performance, but a member of the audience decided to give Kanye a taste of his own medicine by storming the stage.  Security grabbed the guy before he could make a scene and the show went on.

•  Lady Gaga took another spill off the piano, but the camera cut to a concerned Adele, saving the male Gaga from embarrassment.

• MTV paid tribute to both Britney Spears and the late Amy Winehouse.  While Amy's was tasteful and fitting, poor Britney's acceptance speech was parlayed into introducing mama Beyonce.  Britney did prove that she is almost back to her old self, though we would have loved a performance.

• Katy Perry and Kanye West on for best collaboration.  As the buzzed Perry accepted it was shocking that she was more annoying than Kanye.

• Chris Brown seemed to think that if he flew over the crowd and tried to dance that we would forget about him being a woman beater.  When Nirvana began playing during his dance routine, I was hoping Kurt Cobain would make sure Brown was dropped from his high wire act.  Sadly, Chris survived.

• Jared Leto still hasn't realized that he is not Peter Pan and is a grown man.  Seriously, someone take away his black finger nail polish and give him a hair cut.

• Lady Gaga spent the entire evening in character as a man who I believe is the love child of Andrew Dice Clay and Ralph Machio.

The Gaga Conspiracy Theory

Not long ago, there was a blind item somewhere regarding a female celebrity who had a friend, or sister, dress up as them and managed to fool many a paparazzi.

Most blinds aren't really that blind to me, but this one got me curious.  In my head, the only celebrity that would be able to pull that off would be The Queen Monster herself.  With her outlandish outfits and often face covering gear, it wouldn't be hard to have someone cover for you when you are not feeling up to it.

Dear Gossip Boy

Dear Gossip Boy,
I am happy that you have returned to us once again. How is our beloved Justin Case doing? Will we be hearing about him soon?  Please keep in touch as much as you can! XOXO
Diedre

Dee,
Thank for the love! Justin has actually been seeing someone for a good bit of time now.  They seem pretty happy, except for the whole secretive thing.  Rainbow Dark on the other hand, he has left many a broken heart in his wake.

Gear Geebs,
Are you Drew Barrymore? I love you and I constantly an trying to track you down.
Rachel

Dear Delusional,
I love you too, but a penis I do have.

Dear GB,
What is Bradley Cooper going to do now that he finally pulled out of Renee.  You words, not mine.We always knew that they wouldn't last.  What did he see in her?
Artie

Artie,
Renee is a very nice woman.  I'm sure Bradley saw something in her.  Best believe that Mr. Cooper is on track right now.  He has a plan that he thinks will take his career to the next level and even though Renee is as tiny as a Smurf turd, there wasn't any room for her.

Gossip Boy,
Is there any truth to the rumor that Rob and Kristen are secretly married?  Reese asked him about adjusting to being married.  WTF is up with that? Please tell me!!!!!!
Ashley

Ashley,
Are you butt effing serious with your question?  I know you Twilight fans are very internet savvy and I am sure that if they had secretly got married, the person breaking it would probably be in pigtails and footsie pajamas.  Besides, do you really think they will last that long after Breaking Dawn?  That's really what the end of the Mayan Calendar is about.  The end of Robsten.

GB,
Have you ever worked with anyone in the Scream movies?  You seem the cast and the movies.  PS, I just found you an had to call out of work today because I spent all night online reading your blog and fan community.
Kyle

Kyle,
I am glad you found me!  I hope the sick day was worth it.  As for the Screamers, I am just a fan of the flicks.  I have never been in Scream of any other horror movie.  Well, technically I guess no horror movies.  It scared the daylights out of me though.

Gossip Boy,
Please explain to me why a A-List actor, as you have called yourself, would even think about coming up with a gossip blog?  This is career suicide and I think that you are a fake.  No one would do this, especially not Jake Gyllenhaal.  Get over yourself!
Anonymous

Dear Perez,

Why the hate, babe?  You really want to know why I started this?  I got tired of reading about false stories, and insanely unbelievable blind items.  I wanted to actually give people something to read that is true, and entertaining.  This is my personal collection of thoughts and views on the world.  Do I think that it matters what I think.  No.  This is for fun, a break from the hassles of your day.  Career suicide?  How?  You might think you know me, but you have no idea.  And what the sweet Lady Gaga does Jake Gyllenhaal have to do with anything??

GB,
Do you ever think you would take the blog mainstream and give everyone a run for their money?  You have won me over from Ted, Lainey and Perez and I have spread the word at work.  I cannot wait for the day to hear about the blog on E!.
Cait

Cait,
Thank you so much.  I have no plans to make the blog anything more than it already is.  I am not in this to dominate the gossip blogs or to run anyone out of town.  I just like to offer an alternative.  My blog is the cute little bed and breakfast on the other side of town, away from the huge hotel chains like E! and Lainey.

Gossip Boy,
Is Black Sheep Britney Spears?
Gerome

G,
No.

Dear GeeBee,
I have researched and totally solved the Ice Queen blind.  It's totally Emma Stone.  I heard she slept her way into Spiderman.
Laurie




Dear Laurie,
You are so far off.  Did you read the right blind?  Emma is so talented that she might have been able to win her roles by simply sleeping.  But she has never had to do anything sexual for a role.

Dear Gossip Boy,

For the longest time you led us to believe that McHottie was Chace Crawford.  Now you are saying that he isn't?  Are we supposed to believe that Penn Badgley is McHottie?  He doesn't seem gay to me.  I think you are backtracking.
Renee

Dearest Renee,
I don't think I have ever led you to think that Chace or Penn were McHottie.  Even though you are a little tart, I will tell you that either one of them or both of them know him.

GB,
Has Lady Gaga ever been a Blind that you know of?
Liz

Liz,
Has Lady Gaga ever tried to hide anything that you know of?

Gossip Boy,
Are you really sending someone to Water For Elephants premiere to get pics for the blog?  You have got to get an interview with Rob!
Mackenzie

Dear Mackenzie,
I am sending someone with a camera, but don't hold your breath for an interview.  I can't imagine trying to pull that one off.  I would have to hire reporters and then photographers and then before I knew it I would rule the world.  Actually.....

Week In Review

David Boreanaz joined the ever growing list of unfaithful, married celebrities.  Somehow, I think if he would have pulled this shit with Buffy, this post would be about the disappearance of David. 

As if Jesse James could sink any lower, it was revealed by one of his sluts that Jesse was still texting her even after he and soon-to-be-ex wife had adopted baby Louis.  I'm sorry, but I find it ironic that Jesse had any part in adopting a baby that was anything but white.  We've all seen the pictures.  Hopefully, Jesse will ride off into the sunset with some skank on his motorcycle.  If Sandra doesn't own it now.

Mr. and Mrs. Mariah Carey got married yet again this week.  Isn't it like the tenth time now, isn't it?  Why the need for all the damn ceremonies?  We know you scored a young man Mariah, and someone should explain to her that no matter how many times she convinces him to say the vows, he still only has to divorce her once.

Fox crossed the line by editing a minute and a half from Lady Gaga's performance and she was not happy about.  I don't blame her at all.  All they had to do was cut some of Ryan's feeble attempt of being entertaining and stop making those poor crying kids sing after you tell them they suck and have to go back to their shit-tacular town.

Lost smacked us in the back of the head this week and reminded us that with only a couple of episodes left, no one is safe.  And to prove it to us, they killed of Sun, Jin, and Sayid.  Poor Sayid killed himself by saving his friends from a bomb in the submarine, but died in the course.  And in a death scene that rivals the most tear-jerking Titanic scene you can imagine, Jin vowed to stay with his wife Sun, who became trapped in the submarine after the explosion.  As the water poured into the sinking submarine Sun and Jin held each others hand, not letting go until they were both gone. As Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley swam to shore they realized that they had just lost 3 of their friends. It hit them and one by one they began sobbing, Jack being the worst.  As he stood in the ocean and sobbed, I sat on my bed feeling as if I just lost people I actually knew.
The World mourned the loss and we have realized that the brains behind Lost just upped the anty.  No one was safe anymore.  And then there were 4.....