Hail Mary And Her Dark Knight

We have been gone awhile, but everyone should remember out dear little Hail Mary.  If not, catch up with out little undercover vixen here.

Mary has gone through a bit of a rough patch lately, which we are all aware of.  Things seem to be looking up for the tart, and a lot of that has to do with a friend that has swooped in to help.  Dark Knight had been a friend of Mary's for awhile, at least that's what we were fed when they started getting spotted together.

DK has this quality to him that makes everyone think he is a sweet, loving friend.  A quality that makes all parents love him and causes them to disregard any fear of letting their young daughter go out with the older man.  But the only real quality that Dark Knight has is to sell bullshit.  He is in an actor after all, but I use that term loosely.

Dark used to be pretty popular.  A list name but a D list actor.  All the girls love him, and he goes back in HW history.  And by history, I mean all the way back to when Paris ruled the world.  DK knows his time has long been up, so he is now clinging to Mary's drama.

He knows that if he helps bring Mary back from the edge, he will gain major brownie points in the eyes of the public.  And that will hopefully lead him back into the strobe light spotlight, Mary's panties, and if that fails then a tell all interview. Of course, all the time he has been spending with Mary, trying to get her to heal with him in a vertical position has seemed to pay off.  Just not with Mary.

Dark Knight still likes to have a good time.  And after he gets Mary tucked in, her sister fills the vacancy.  Mary's sister and Dark Knight have been seen out all over town, drinking and snorting in any VIP room they can sneak into.  Which is how I came upon them one fine night.

As Dark bragged to me about bedding the sister until he gets Mary warmed up, I realized that Dark has always befriended the party girls.  I ended up leaving as the sister began befriending DK in the most delightful way.

Hail Mary Isn't:
Miranda Cosgrove
Kaley Cuoco
Rihanna

Dark Knight Isn't:
Justin Long
Brody Jenner
Joe Jonas

Hail Mary's Road To Hell

Hail Mary was once thought to be the sweet, innocent type.  If you recall, she went to great lengths to keep that little good girl image.  All while she partied her little nose off and passed time with her lame bf while secretly hooking up with her oh so sexy ex boyfriend.

 Since we last heard about Mary, Mr. Lame actually grew a brain and realized that Mary wasn't the girl he thought she was.  I guess the wild sex was as crazy as he liked it.  But, Mary was too busy with other things in her life falling apart to worry about Lame.

Turns out that Mary's image had been tarnished by some stories that had leaked out to the public.  Damage control set in and Mary did everything she could to try and salvage what reputation she had left.  Word went around town as Mary was obviously trying to sober up.  Until one last hit came and her personal life fell apart.

I could easily tell you what the tragedy as, but in doing so I would reveal Mary's identity.  But it became clear that Mary no longer cared about said reputation and has embarked on her personal highway to hell. 

Poor Mary's family isn't even stepping in to help, which in my opinion has pushed Mary further over the edge.  it's hard to realize that you're just a meal ticket.  Even Mary's ex wants nothing to do with her these days.

Someone should reach out soon, before we have another Britney Lohan fiasco.

It's Not

Selena Gomez
Miranda Cosgrove
Lea Michele

Holy Hail Mary Sunday

Sunday is such a fitting day to introduce you to Hail Mary, a young star who is not as she seems. Is anyone really who they seem to be in HW anymore?


Hail Mary has long since been thought of as the sweet angelic girl.  She has built her entire fan base on the fact and is constantly coming up with new ways to seem like a holy rolling girl.  And in the daytime, she is.  But when the sun goes down, Hail Mary lets her inner bad girl out.

Hail Mary is not one for clubs and A-List bashes, she chooses to stay under the radar.  This little wild child is best known for renting out residences and penthouse suites under her managers name for her no holds barred parties. Same guests at every bash.  Some celebs, some wannabes, but definitely people that wouldn't rat out the sweetheart that throws the best parties, or "Snow Balls" as they call them.

It's all been fun and games for Mary, until a couple weekends ago when she traded in the snow for some E. And I don't mean E exclamation point.

One night her boyfriend was not attached to her hip, and she got a little randy with a her ex-boyfriend. And she wasn't very private about it, it was in the middle of one of her parties.  At least she had the decency to take him into the bathroom, but she should have been quieter.  Everyone heard Hail Mary praying to God and when she emerged with the sex hair, Mary didn't even attempt to fix it.  Instead she walked over and did some bumps.

Hail Mary has her current dish chasing her every move and her ex, who she is secretly stalking.  No matter which guy really loves the snow job, they should realize she is after one thing.  A-List baybe.

Just a tip for Hail Mary's boyfriend: she has been known to meet her ex when you think she is at church.  It's Sunday, do you know where your Hail Mary is?

Image Via Larry West Productions

It's Not:
Reese Witherspoon
Britney Spears
Beyonce