Fash Bash

Ashley Greene

Mavis Beyotch: Even though it looks slightly like she's wearing a bed sheet, it's simple and elegant.  Vive le bed sheet!
Kate's Evil Twin: The bed sheet, really Nikki?  Aren't you dating some bazillionaire left over who used to date Paris Hilton?  Did Paris Hilton sneak in one night with the spare key and take all your good clothes?  Wait.  *listens*  So.... apparently this is NOT Nikki Reed.  This is some other interchangeable actress who plays a vampire. Whatever, it's still a bed sheet.
Gossip Boy: Dude, you got the money you wanted, you can stop playing the poor girl and wearing your linens.

 Madonna

Mavis Beyotch: Poor dear.  She is somehow confused and believes that she's still in Dick Tracey...this time as  Dick Tracey.  Must be that hot young cabana boy she has.  Has made her brain just the tiniest bit squishy.

Kate's Evil Twin: Here are my keys.  It's a black Audi.  Don't scratch it this time and don't drive it too fast around the block or you won't get Mr. George Washington here.

Gossip Boy: What the F*ck?

 Nikki Reed

Mavis Beyotch: So this is how the swan dress that silly Bjorck wore years ago was recycled.  Either that, or she has a serious addiction to chicken, and doesn't know what to do with the feathers.

Kate's Evil Twin: So THIS is Nikki Reed.  Honey, Kristen is pulling off the random figure skater dress much better than you.  It's all about the accessories.  See below.

Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner

Mavis Beyotch: I wonder what terrible accident happened on the way that caused the sleeve to fall off.  Maybe that werewolf got a bit peckish.  But I'm happy she hooked up with those nice gentlemen from the 50s skiffle band.

Kate's Evil Twin: Oh hallo boys.  Brava Kristen, brava!  You see, Kristen here is following all of the Kate Bosworth fashion rules.  When in doubt about your questionably fashionable cotton ball dress, accessorize with a young hot, presumably gay actor.  Or two.  Always keep a spare penis on hand, I always say. And a breath mint.  Three cheers for Kristen!

Gossip Boy: Eenie, meanie, miney mo, which of these people looks like a big ole mo?  That's right, I said it.

 Gwyneth Paltrow

Mavis Beyotch: I am sure when this dress is finished it will be lovely.  What?  It is?  I am so embarrassed.

Kate's Evil Twin: Dear Gwyneth, What's going on?  I haven't seen you in ages!!!  I miss our girl time at the spa; colonics, detoxes, botoxes, talking about boys and all those things that Chris does that drive you crazy.  I kept a list you know, like good friends do.  I see you're still living out of a suitcase, fashioning dresses from tablecloths.  Please call if you want to borrow a dress that wasn't sewn by child laborers named Apple.  Love you miss you! Kate's Evil Twin.

Victoria Beckham

Mavis Beyotch: Channeling the 90s.  When the Spice Girls mattered, even ever so slightly.  And when she last ate something other than paper towels.

Kate's Evil Twin: I'm too scared to criticize this outfit.  Have you heard what fembots from outerspace can do to a 98 lb waif like myself??  

Gossip Boy: Start saving for that hip replacement you are going to need.

 Jessica Alba

Mavis Beyotch: This is what happens when bad clothes happen to beautiful people.  You forget that they're beautiful and just concentrate on the ugly.

Kate's Evil Twin:The first student in Victoria Beckham's Fembot from Outerspace School for Desperately Edgy Actresses.  First lesson.  Master the bitchface, Jessica, or people will keep laughing at your shoes.  And your hair.

Khloe Kardashian

Mavis Beyotch: I think it's very sweet of her mother to not have ever told her she was the chubby, unattractive sister.  However, it's now time for someone to do that.

Kate's Evil Twin: As anyone who follows me on Twitter (@kateseviltwin) knows, I am a bevy of incredibly astute fashion advice.  One of the questions I get asked over and over again is, "how should a fat girl dress?"  (I'm currently in the process of eliminating all fat followers, but never mind).  Khloe, please follow me on twitter because you are breaking ALL THE RULES. 1. Wear black. 2. Don't show skin (ew.) 3. Spanx are more than your sister's favorite bedroom activity. See you on twitter!

New Eclipse Pictures

Let the air brushing die already!

New Eclipse Poster

Summit has released the posters for the latest installment of The Twilight Saga and I am very disappointed, as most fans should be. 

Don't get me wrong, I am a Twilighter a heart, something that I don't share that much.  I am a huge fan of the books, the movies, and the characters.  That being said...

Why can't we get a decent movie poster?  To me, these posters are just cheap and easy.  This is essintally a love story of a girl, a vampire, and her werewolf best friend who in the end (SPOILER ALERT!!!) pretty much becomes her son-in-law.  I get that Eclipse is about the love triangle, but these is a cheesy imitation of a movie poster!

Call me crazy, but I am a collector of movie posters.  I have a huge collection and Twilight posters are part of them.  And maybe because I am just a fan of art in general I expect more of a movie poster.  Am I lame that I let this bother me?  Am I the only one who thinks that these are lame?

The Runaways Premier In Los Angeles

Well, what a threesome this is.  Dakota Fanning, Taylor Lautner, and Kristen Stewart walked the red carpet premiere of The Runaways in Los Angeles last night.

Taylor showed up to support Kristen and after the movie said her performance blew him away. Joan Jett was also in attendance as well as Riley Keough, Elvis' granddaughter.

 Just wanted to add that Kristen was definitely owning the rocker look and showed no signs of stage fright.  She seemed calm and collected as she worked the red carpet in a sexy hot pink number.  She is really changing her style and it is working for her. Don't worry Robsten fans, Taylor and Kristen are just friends. 

Is It Possible To Be Gay In Hollywood?

Rumors have circulated that a star would be on the cover of The Advocate and finally announce himself as gay.  I knew who it would be, he has been toying with the idea for years.  Sean Hayes may not be the huge star that you thought it would be, but in my book this makes him a star.

In a world where people are so close minded that people have to actually put on a show to keep a job in this business, this is a ray of light. Though a small one, Hayes should be thought of as brave man.  No matter whether you are a working actor or a has been, it takes a lot of guts to come out of the closet.

I would hope that this little movement would actually make people see that coming out as gay isn't the nail in your coffin.  Look at Neil Patrick Harris, he will always be known as Doogie Howser M.D, that smart kid that somehow became a doctor.  He was forced out of the closet by a certain douche bag, but he took lemons and made lemonade.  He soared to success as a womanizer on How I Met Your Mother and the gay label has not affected him at all.  Would he have been considered to play Prince Of Persia or a lead in a romantic movie?  No, and that is what keeps major stars from coming out.

It has nothing to do with the actual star.  Most of us want to come out, want to leave an honest life and not lie to the people that have pretty much made our careers, the fans. But a lot of us have dreams of being a HW success and coming out about our sexuality puts a limit on our success.  Many stars have come out, but not one star that you have waited for or suspected.

Just once, would it be possible for an A-List star to admit that they are gay and still maintain the same amount of success?  Let's say hypothetically that Tom Cruise came out.  Would you still go to see his huge blockbuster with him saving the world, acting all macho and kissing girls?  Or if by some chance, Jake Gyllenhaal came out as gay.  Prince Of Persia would never have happened with him because the gay image would be in people's head.  Not only that, studios would never use an outspoken homosexual as one of their action leads.  It's unheard of and if you ask the studios, never going to happen.

And now that stars have put so much effort into putting the image out that you expect, if they were to come out as gay it is possible the backlash could ruin them.  If you have always seen them with a woman, or a girlfriend, or even if they have kids, learning that this whole time they were gay, would ruin your perception of them.  They would have to admit that everything you believed about them and saw, was a lie. 

In general, it's not just the stars fault, nor does it lay on the studio's shoulders.  The studios still believe middle America is the consensus and that the world isn't ready for a gay movie star/action hero.  But everyone's image of gay is so strewn that people have no idea and think of all gays as rainbow riding fairies.  I have news for you, gays come in all shape, sizes and personalities.  And it makes you think why we should label ourselves to begin with.  We are human, all of us.  Isn't that enough?

We have asked you who you thought of as "Definitely Gay" in HW.  These are the popular answers:

• Taylor Lautner
• Tom Cruise
• Jensen Ackles

With these being 3 of the most popular star right now, give or take a little with Jensen, it seems everyone has their mind made up about them already.  Tom Cruise has been thought to be gay for his entire career, which has not made the slightest bit of difference when it comes to his box office income. 

Seems to me that Hollywood should realize that no one is stupid.  We think of a lot of our stars as gay anyway, but we still go and see their movies.  It's called acting for a reason and as long as the movie can entertain us, we will go and see it.  But if the movie is shit, gay or not, it's going to bomb.  We need a A-Lister to come out and start a revolution.  Any ideas?

Taylor Lautner Stays Close To Kristen Stewart At Vanity Fair Party

Last night at the Vanity Fair party, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner were each others buffers.  Both looked extremely out of place, but Taylor was on his game.  He shook hands and escorted Kristen all around the party.

Before you get all worked up, Kristen was overheard mentioning that she wished Robert was able to attend.  But we all know Rob is filming Bel Ami over the pond and as much as I am sure he wanted to attend, Kristen was stuck going it alone

Sources say that before Taylor and Kristen went onstage to honor Horror Films, the actress was visibly nervous, which we already reported.  How did she calm down?  We are told that she placed a phone call just minutes before she went on and whoever she talked to was able to calm her down enough for her to at least walk out.

At the V.F party, Taylor made sure to stay by Kristen's side all night long making sure she was comfortable.  He got drinks for her and even tried to ease her nervousness.  Sounds like Taylor is the kind of guy a girl needs around, non-sexually of course

.

Taylor Out And Alone

 

Taylor Lautner treated himself to a gourmet meal at Boa last evening in the 90210.  Poor guy ate all alone, but don't cry for him, Argentina.  I hear he prefers it that way.  Taylor is more interested in his career and making a name for himself instead of worrying about being seen out with girls.  I'm sure he has learned his lesson from the Taylor Swift debacle.  Poor guy thought he was getting a sweet, virginal country girl that he could hang out with, not a two-faced sex feign.  Once he realized that to be with Taylor meant you had to be with Taylor, he high tailed it.  Can you blame him??  Girl's vagina is becoming as public as her Facebook.

I'm sorry to keep drawing comparison, but is he not a young Tom Cruise? Take a look and you tell me.  And I am sure that these two have a lot more in common then their looks.  The similarities are ridiculous and it makes you wonder.  How long until Tom recruits our little Jacob Black for the ever so thrilling world of Scientology?

Taylor Lautner Is Taking Over

Taylor Lautner is taking Hollywood by storm and blowing up.  Not only has he launched Tailor Made production company, Lionsgate paid out $1 million for the highly anticipated script Abduction with Taylor attached. He's also producing Universal's Stretch Armstrong, the next movie he's set to star.

Taylor is on his way to becoming a Hollywood heavy weight, and I really hope that he is able to show his acting skills a little more.  Don't get me wring, he is talented, but he hasn't knocked my socks off yet. Do you think he has what it takes to become the next Tom Cruise?

Happy 18th Birthday Taylor!

Ladies, ladies, ladies!! The day has come that we have been waiting for. We can finally fawn all over the hot, rippled Taylor Lautner without feeling just a wee bit icky.

That's right. Mr. Jacob Black turns 18 years old today and completely legal for all of us women who have been dreaming about corrupting the sweet, innocent stud.

You can practically hear the cougar cages busting open and the stampede has begun!

Now don't get me wrong, Taylor already leads a not so underage lifestyle. But the good thing is, now that he is 18, we can talk about it.

Hopefully, Taylor will have an very happy birthday. He has said that he doesn't have any big plans, but I know otherwise. With his career taking off, I doubt this day will go by without some kind of celebration....or a new blind item for us!

TOPLESS WEDNESDAY!!

So here it is.  The first Official Topless Wednesday.  What is it, you ask.  It is a chance for all of us to swoon over some of our favorite men, without their shirts.  Yes it's a shameless attempt to see half-naked men, but if you don't mind, I sure as hell don't!  Let me know how you feel about Topless Wednesdays!

And the last picture is just a little added bonus for the Rob and Kristen Fans and one for the Jensen and Jared Fans.  Real or fake, you be the judge!!