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Monday, March 29, 2010

Could Sandra Forgive Jesse?

Poor Sandra Bullock.  As her husband Jesse Jame's count of mistresses rises, she has been retreating further and further into seclusion.  She has friends and family constantly by her side for support and no one has heard a peep from her since the Monday before the Tiger Deja Vu began.

Putting it all together, Bullock reportedly moved out of the home she shared with Jesse James, is staying in the other home she bought for $1.485 million in 2001 (So it's worth a lot more now), but has been in Austin, Texas where RadarOnline claims she "owns a slew of businesses" in Austin, Texas, and has returned to Los Angeles to, as Pop Eater puts it, seek a divorce and confront Jesse James.

No one knows where Sandy is, and no one should.  She just had her Earth shattered and we are nobody who justifies any kind of response.  She is grieving the death of her marriage and the love that she shared with Jesse.  And though everyone says that Sandy knew what she was getting into, do you really think she thought that this is what her marriage would turn into?  Since this perfect from the outside marriage has literally imploded in front of our eyes, it got me thinking.

No divorce papers have been filed yet,and I wondered if it would it ever be possible to love someone enough to work through these problems and try to forgive a serial cheater?  Marriage is a commitment in my eyes and once the ring is on your finger, it should be there until the day you go in the ground.  But there are some breaking points, obviously.  Yes, a list of indiscretions is grounds for a Bobbitt-style revenge, but when it comes down the hard facts, how far is too far.  Tiger Woods marriage seems to be under construction and going for the better so far.  But what about Sandra? Should she work and fight for the marriage to work or is this too far gone to save?  I am really interested in your opinions.


Mary said...

My opinion - I am all about trying to fix repairable relationships however, this one seems beyond that point. I think what makes it different than the Tiger scenario is that

a) Tiger is the famous one - not his wife. He is the one with the most to lose from a PR perspective if he cannot get his act together.

b) On the flipside, Sandra is the famous one - not so much the husband. She is not the one with the most to lose from a PR perspective. I think that if she stayed with him and tried to work it out - given his track record - that she would lose a great deal of respect within the industry and with her fan base.

c) Sandra and JJ have no children together - yes - Sandra is a doting stepmother - but still - they have no children together.

d) Tiger has two small children with his wife so again, that puts a different twist on this scenario.

Anonymous said...

I think once you have children together as do Elin & Tiger, it becomes more important to try to heal & repair the union. For someone like Sandra bullock, she has committed herself to jesse's kids, but since they don't gave kids together, I think there would be less of a desire to stick with a marriage that was obviously not as meaningful to one of the partners. What sucks is that she waited a long time to get married and she was clearly in love withhim. She recently said he was her boyfriend. :(

Anonymous said...

i agree with gossip boys comments about marriage and 'till death do us part'. but jesse james is the one who broke his vows and his commitment. who am i to say what the right thing to do is, but in my eyes sandra should be able to move on with her life and be with someone who deserves her. if someone was being physically and emotionally abused (i would say this counts as emotional abuse given not only the infidelity but the public humiliation) i think thats grounds for dissolution of marriage as well. there's got to be a line somewhere in all that gray. a person should be given room to maintain their self respect and dignity and live a full and happy life. personally i hope she ditches the scumbag and i wish elin would as well.

Canuck said...

I have no idea how she would ever be able to trust the guy again, especially if she is off filming. What's more, he's apparently been cheating from very early on and multiple times and she's now probably asking herself if she ever really knew him. It's not like it was a one-night stand that happened once.

She would basically have to know where he is and what he is doing for quite a while before bringing herself to believe that he's being faithful. And I can't see Sandra being the sort of person who would allow this man to change her into a clingy woman who constantly feels the need to check up on him. And she'd be totally right, why should she allow him to turn her into someone LESS than she is now?

As for Tiger? I don't believe for a minute that his marriage will last. It's obviously a commitment that he didn't take very seriously, and worse yet, he was having unprotected sex with hookers and then sleeping with his wife. That would be the ultimate deal-breaker for me, he obviously cares more about getting laid than he does about possibly damaging his wife's health permanently.

Sarah said...

From personal experience, I know what it feels like to be cheated on. Even though I wasn't married to my boyfriend, it was still humiliating. There are so many emotions when you find out. I was hurt and angry. I felt worthless. It was the worst betrayal. Despite how I felt, I took him back. Needless to say, he cheated on me again and the next time it was with a stripper. That hurt worse the second time because I was nothing like that. It really is true when people say once a cheater always a cheater.

I think Sandra can one day forgive him, but she will never forget the pain he caused her. This man has an obvious track record with women, and he is unlikely to change. I have learned once the trust is gone, it is hard to have a healthy relationship anymore. Some people can work through infidelity but more often than not, it destroys a relationship.

I can only imagine the pain she is feeling. It is hard to deal with infidelity on any level, but it has to be even harder with the public watching your every move.

Anonymous said...

I don't know how she could ever trust him again. Regardless of whether she takes him back,he needs to gets some kind of intense treatment to figure out why he likes sabotaging his relationships. Maybe he is just an asshole or even worse a sociopath??Run Sandra run!!!

Anonymous said...

I think that whatever she decides she should not be judged negativley for it! I agree with Gossip Boy....marriage is a hard work and well worth the effort!Hollywood people seem to not want to put in the "hard work" therefore marriage after marriage fails. I personally think "once a cheater...always a cheater" and at the same time "love conquers all"
I'm just glad i'm not in her shoes! ;)

Anonymous said...

i'm sure elin is on contract to remain married to tiger. she's probably getting paid to do so. she may love him, but i doubt that elin trusts tiger.

Canuck said...

The question that also needs to be asked is "Is Jesse willing to do whatever it takes to get his marriage back on track"?

Personally, I doubt it. Any guy who starts cheating early on in his marriage, JUST BECAUSE HE CAN, doesn't even deserve the effort. In fact, you kind of have to wonder why he got married in the first place. So no one else could have Sandra? So he could have the thrill of cheating, because otherwise it's just not as good?

Again, it's one thing if the guy had a one night stand. It's quite another if he carried on an affair / affairs that lasted over a long time. It might be possible to brush aside a mistake that came from nothing but physical weakness, but seeing someone for 11 months isn't that...