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Thursday, April 14, 2011

Mini Blinds

1- This C-List female with an A-list name has always had a hard time controlling her ego.  This back stabbing star seemed to have a pleasant home life, but unfortunately her diva-ness has seemed to sour that as well.  Her career is on a slippery slope and her overbearing ways are about to split up her happy little home.  Guess her man is finally fed up with her wearing the pants.
Not Nicole Kidman

2-Is it possible that this actor may finally be coming out of the closet?  He has been wanting to for years. He wants to come out because of all the gay hate around the word affecting the children.  I'm told that a gay teenage boy wrote to him about how he got picked on and that he looked up to said celeb because he called gays called gay too. Our stud was so touched that he flew the boy and his family out to HW for the weekend and treated them to an amusement park. He's ready to come out and support but his handlers are desperately against it for obvious reasons.  Probably because he plans to come all out, history and all and his beards may have some 'splainin to do.
Not Matthew McConaughey

3-This stone cold fox has every man looking her way. She is a fresh face, innocent still.  She is actually a HW virgin, never been with a man.  EVER.  No one would ever guess it from the way she sells her sex.  But while she may be a virgin with men, she sure isn't with women.  And her latest hook up was the assistant of a co-star.  And when that co-star found them practicing cuntalinguis, poor little assistant was out on her ass. But only for a moment because Foxy snapped her right up.  Now the tension is building on the set and the crew take every measure to make sure they never come face to face unless there is a camera on.  And the assistant is walking around like her poo don't smell.  Should we tell her that she is Foxy's third assistant.  On this project alone.  Once your well runs stale, Foxy replaces. Lick 'em and leave 'em should be tattooed on her.
Not Emma Roberts

Dear Gossip Boy

Dear Gossip Boy,
I am happy that you have returned to us once again. How is our beloved Justin Case doing? Will we be hearing about him soon?  Please keep in touch as much as you can! XOXO

Thank for the love! Justin has actually been seeing someone for a good bit of time now.  They seem pretty happy, except for the whole secretive thing.  Rainbow Dark on the other hand, he has left many a broken heart in his wake.

Gear Geebs,
Are you Drew Barrymore? I love you and I constantly an trying to track you down.

Dear Delusional,
I love you too, but a penis I do have.

Dear GB,
What is Bradley Cooper going to do now that he finally pulled out of Renee.  You words, not mine.We always knew that they wouldn't last.  What did he see in her?

Renee is a very nice woman.  I'm sure Bradley saw something in her.  Best believe that Mr. Cooper is on track right now.  He has a plan that he thinks will take his career to the next level and even though Renee is as tiny as a Smurf turd, there wasn't any room for her.

Gossip Boy,
Is there any truth to the rumor that Rob and Kristen are secretly married?  Reese asked him about adjusting to being married.  WTF is up with that? Please tell me!!!!!!

Are you butt effing serious with your question?  I know you Twilight fans are very internet savvy and I am sure that if they had secretly got married, the person breaking it would probably be in pigtails and footsie pajamas.  Besides, do you really think they will last that long after Breaking Dawn?  That's really what the end of the Mayan Calendar is about.  The end of Robsten.

Have you ever worked with anyone in the Scream movies?  You seem the cast and the movies.  PS, I just found you an had to call out of work today because I spent all night online reading your blog and fan community.

I am glad you found me!  I hope the sick day was worth it.  As for the Screamers, I am just a fan of the flicks.  I have never been in Scream of any other horror movie.  Well, technically I guess no horror movies.  It scared the daylights out of me though.

Gossip Boy,
Please explain to me why a A-List actor, as you have called yourself, would even think about coming up with a gossip blog?  This is career suicide and I think that you are a fake.  No one would do this, especially not Jake Gyllenhaal.  Get over yourself!

Dear Perez,
Why the hate, babe?  You really want to know why I started this?  I got tired of reading about false stories, and insanely unbelievable blind items.  I wanted to actually give people something to read that is true, and entertaining.  This is my personal collection of thoughts and views on the world.  Do I think that it matters what I think.  No.  This is for fun, a break from the hassles of your day.  Career suicide?  How?  You might think you know me, but you have no idea.  And what the sweet Lady Gaga does Jake Gyllenhaal have to do with anything??

Do you ever think you would take the blog mainstream and give everyone a run for their money?  You have won me over from Ted, Lainey and Perez and I have spread the word at work.  I cannot wait for the day to hear about the blog on E!.

Thank you so much.  I have no plans to make the blog anything more than it already is.  I am not in this to dominate the gossip blogs or to run anyone out of town.  I just like to offer an alternative.  My blog is the cute little bed and breakfast on the other side of town, away from the huge hotel chains like E! and Lainey.

Gossip Boy,
Is Black Sheep Britney Spears?


Dear GeeBee,
I have researched and totally solved the Ice Queen blind.  It's totally Emma Stone.  I heard she slept her way into Spiderman.

Dear Laurie,
You are so far off.  Did you read the right blind?  Emma is so talented that she might have been able to win her roles by simply sleeping.  But she has never had to do anything sexual for a role.

Dear Gossip Boy,
For the longest time you led us to believe that McHottie was Chace Crawford.  Now you are saying that he isn't?  Are we supposed to believe that Penn Badgley is McHottie?  He doesn't seem gay to me.  I think you are backtracking.

Dearest Renee,
I don't think I have ever led you to think that Chace or Penn were McHottie.  Even though you are a little tart, I will tell you that either one of them or both of them know him.

Has Lady Gaga ever been a Blind that you know of?

Has Lady Gaga ever tried to hide anything that you know of?

Gossip Boy,
Are you really sending someone to Water For Elephants premiere to get pics for the blog?  You have got to get an interview with Rob!

Dear Mackenzie,
I am sending someone with a camera, but don't hold your breath for an interview.  I can't imagine trying to pull that one off.  I would have to hire reporters and then photographers and then before I knew it I would rule the world.  Actually.....

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


Everyone may say that Scream 4 should have never happened and that it is like beating a dead horse. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, especially in the bloggerverse.  But to you Scream 4 haters, I say suck it.

In 1996 I loved Scream when it came out.  If there was no Scream, there would have been no rebirth of the horror franchise.  Horror movies were dead in 1996, kaput!  Scream came alone and reinvented horror movies and became the rare trilogy of horror films.

Not only were the movies awesome, the core cast were 3 loveable stars.  You had Courtney "Monica" Cox, Neve Campbell with her Party Of Five gorgeousness and David Arquette with his wacky but somewhat do-able aloof self.  When Scream 3 came out I was so excited to see how it would end, but also so sad because it was the end.

To hear that Scream 4 was coming out was amazing.  I too feared that maybe it was going too far.  I still am scared that maybe, just maybe, I would be forced to watch one of my beloved trio get hacked up by some second-rate actor.  Or worse yet, that one of the three would be the one behind the mask.

Kevin Williams wouldn't do that to me though, right? In Dawson I trust. 

Bradley Cooper Gets Serious

It seems that one Bradley Cooper is in talks to star in a remake of the film The Crow.  Though nothing is set in stone as of yet, talk is that he is seriously being considered. 

Sadly, as you know, Brandon Lee was killed during the filming of the original film.  Bradley has every intention of taking over the starring role and has been very vocal about it.

He sees this as his big chance to finally get recognized as a dramatic star.  Everyone associates him with The Hangover now, a comedy.  Cooper wants to be thought of as a serious actor. 

I love Bradley in everything that he is in.  Didn't love him as much when he was in Renee, but he pulled out and now we're all good.  Now if I can just get him to star in me......

Katie Holmes IS Funny!

Katie Holmes popped up on The Late Show With David Letterman last night showed that she can be funny.  I have always been a fan of Katie Holmes, but it was I love Katie BTC (Before The Crazy) not Katie 2.0.  This is a glimmer of the Katie that I like. 

Monday, April 11, 2011

Happy Penis Monday

Black Sheep Steps Up Her Game

Remember the story of Rock Jock and Black Sheep?  Well, Black Sheep finally gave up on RJ and they decided to call it quits.  It was very low key, the media barely even picked up on it.

Well Blackie stayed out of the media for a little while after the break-up.  She had some minor parts, but nothing to note worthy.  As she promoted her roles, she ended up in other countries with some unruly co-stars.

Trust me, her nickname isn't Black Seep for nothing.  She can throw down with the best of them.  Well, she used to.  Rock Jock had straightened her up a bit.  Suddenly she had realized that people weren't really paying attention to her now that she wasn't part of an "it" couple.  That's the only thing i can think of to explain what happened next.

One of her "BFF" co-stars on the flick told me that one night out of nowhere, Blackie showed up at the hotel bar where there were having drinks wearing a hot little black dress and heels that could poke your eye out the back of your head.  Blackie had never joined them after filming apparently, and had actually become the black sheep of that cast as well.  Poor thing.

But Blackie showed everyone her true colors that night.  My little birdie says that she doesn't even remember how many bars they hit that night, just that she woke up the next morning stupefied.

"One minute I was drinking and dancing, and then I blinked and I was waking up in my bed the next morning."

Blackie believes that to get the press that she needs to feel better, she needs to make headlines.  But of course there's the one she does not need to get out.  Like, the fact that she was spotted buying a little stick to pee on.

Thank the Lord, she wasn't pregnant again.  At least not the way she drank the night after.  Then again, this is Black Sheep we are talking about....

Black Sheep Is Not....

Winona Ryder
Jessica Biel
Kate Hudson

P.S That is NOT a picture of Black Sheep