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Monday, March 8, 2010

The Un-Married Blind Item

This HW couple is very well known in all of the tabloids.  Not only have they managed to outlast most HW couples, they have kept up a huge veil of curiousness.

Last night was no different.  They arrived at the red carpet with all of their other peers and from the moment they stepped out of the limo, they kept up their A game.  Smiling at the right time, talking to the right people, basically playing the game.  But when people weren't looking is when things got interesting.

The wife was seen scolding the husband constantly for not standing on her bad side and for appearing in too many pictures with her.  She actually convinced him to disappear for about 30 minutes to let her soak up the spotlight.  So where did he going during his time off?

Seems he crawled out on a limb and looked for their assistant who had been ordered to accompany them and make sure the wife looked stunning at all times.  As he and the assistant flirted very heavily back and forth, it became clear what kind of hand the assistant offered.  During the broadcast, the couple sat next to each other and kept smiling.  But after the broadcast is when this story picks up.

While the wife was at after parties networking with the smart people, trying to drum up some decent roles, the husband and the assistant kept disappearing into a private bathroom. I normally would have thought that they were in there just partying, but when they came out with messed up hair and one of them actually left their zipper down, it was pretty clear what kind of dance they were doing in there.  And the sad part is when someone asked the wife where her other half was, she laughed and said he was probably in the bathroom getting felt up by his boyfriend.  It came off as a joke, but little does everyone know, she was dead serious.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

SJP and Matthew Broderick?

Kathryn said...

JLo and Marc Anthony?

godo said...

GB, can you tell us who in HW is 120% straight? Except maybe David Duchovny and Sean Penn? We shall do the math about all those gay/bi curious male stars by exclusion method. ;)

touched said...

Mariah and Nick? poor guy might just as well have the LV logo printed all over him.

Anonymous said...

So has to be SJP and poor Matthew.

MizV said...

This reeks of SJP to me. She sucks. Evidently he does too.
Honestly, though, I think she comes across as a huge bitch and could it be any more obvious that they are not really a "couple"? I'm suprised she allows him to accompany her to the Oscars, actually.

Anonymous said...

SJP and MB fr sure

Anonymous said...

to Miz V...

Actually it was MATTHEW who was INVITED for the John Hughes tribute. SJP was just a plus 1 hag he had to bring so tonques wouldnt wag

MizV said...

Yes I know MB was the one invited for the Jon Hughes tribute - clearly he was the one who had the most business being at the awards this year, but clearly the women are the ones everyone wants to see on the red carpet. He should have gone in for his thing, let her do the carpet. He seems like a decent guy, why can't they end the ridiculous charade and get on with their own lives - and if he is ok in the closet, fine - but I can't imagine having to deal with her in ANY capacity, let alone pretending to be a spouse! Come on - does anyone believe for one second they are a happily married couple??

Anonymous said...

notice it says BIG blind item...BIG SATC

Anonymous said...

on his twitter it said that

tonilost said...

SJP and Matthew are NY'ers, she doesnt have to run around drumming up roles, and she is actually a nice person and wouldnt make fun of Matthew by saying he's off with his BF. Follow the clues people.

cat said...

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett??

Anonymous said...

BUt SJP has been unlucky with roles

Anonymous said...

Does SJP have a good side? Oh right ... her backside ;) Still Carrie would have found a better dress.

Anonymous said...

It's not SJP and Matthew. They just had babies together. If there was trouble in paradise, I doubt they would have went through all of that together. They seem like very nice, normal people.

April B said...

He says "the wife was at afer parties networking with the smart people"...SJP starred in Smart People, so I'm convinced this is them, among the other clues.

crila16 said...

This is totally SJP and Matthew Broderick...without a doubt. I read it and knew the answer right away.

macey said...

I agree about SJP and MB. I am always very uncomfortable watching them together. He always looks very bored and distracted, and like he's rather be somewhere else. Hell, he looked that way while presenting an Oscar. He's a douche. Just come out already, and be done with it. What a terrible charade, that affects the lives of 3 small children.

Anonymous said...

what were you smoking when you made up this blind?

Anonymous said...

ur mama

Anonymous said...

Out On A Limb is a 1992 movie starring Matthew Broderick.

Anonymous said...

Demi & Ashton?