Gossip Boy's Fash Bash

 Clay Aiken

Mavis Beyotch: When did Clay Aiken become a middle aged lesbian?  Sorry, that was probably offensive - to middle aged lesbians.
Zipper Pull: It would seem that Jude has started a trend of flesh colored shoes on pasty men. We all hate to travel, but, come on, you were a famous singer for like 20 minutes, you have a duty to NOT dress like a lesbian nun in public.
Fat Ninja: Overnight bag: check. Comfy shoes for swollen feet: Check. Laptop for solitaire while we wait: check. Ok ma'am, Let's go have this baby!
Gossip Boy: No, sweetie....just....no.

Jenny Wade

 Mavis Beyotch: No puffed sleeves after puberty… unless it’s part of the beer garden’s costume.
Zipper Pull and Fat Ninja were unable to comment on this dress.  Apparently they both got the sudden craving for some Paulie Girl and haven't been seen since.

Mia Michaels

Mavis Beyotch: Trying to channel Flashdance will not bring back the 80s, nor will it give you Jennifer Beals body, my dear

Zipper Pull: I have been waiting a long time to be able to say a few “words” about you. * Yawn * You actually look kind of Ok. Dammit. If you get the cute boys topless a lot on SYTYCD this season, I will back off.

Fat Ninja: OMG! How the hell is Mia Michaels supposed to choreograph this season's SYTYCD when BOTH her ankles are broken? Too much Fat Ninja training?

The Gossip Boy: Does she have a watermelon up there?

Sophia Bush And Austin Nichols

Mavis Beyotch:  Did someone need to outline his pocket so he could find it?  And, Sophia darling, tie-dye went out with the Grateful Dead.  And I’d be grateful if you put that dress out of its misery.

Zipper Pull: Two beards...One pose...Lackluster choices.

Fat Ninja: This whole scene is a nightmare. Undone hair, beards, and evidently, dishevelled is the new black. Fat Ninja needs a stiff one after this mess. Anyone with me?... Austin? ...... Austin? 

Gossip Boy: I am sorry but are we supposed to believe that maybe you pulled a Angelina and Billy Bob and screwed in the limo before arriving?  Slobs.

Vanessa Hudgens

Mavis Beyotch: Why do I always think of a kewpie doll whenever I see this girl?  One who is about 10 minutes away from doing porn.  Maybe because her dress looks like a towel, that will conveniently drop when the pizza delivery guy shows up.  Bow chica bow wow.

Zipper Pull: Well to her credit, her legs are crossed 

Gossip Boy: For once

Fat Ninja: When walking the red carpet for LG night of Fashion, shouldn't a girl go from shower to wardrobe? Not shower straight to event still with a wet head and wrapped in a towel? 

Eva Longoria and Victoria Beckham

Mavis Beyotch:These two are so tragic in every possible way that it just makes me want to weep.  Silently. Into a very large martini.  With a well muscled young gentleman gently wiping away the tears.  I need a moment now.

Zipper Pull: Becks has had so much botox, she is literally tuning into a needle. Cute little dress though, she owns it. Eva on the other hand looks like she GOT owned. By a band of pissed off stylists and make-up artists. Looks like Vick introduced her to Sharon Needles.

Fat Ninja: First of all, Kim Kardashian lost weight AND height. How the hell is she holding up drunk Vicki B who is now so thin her napkin dress has had to be gathered and stapled to her abdomen and vagina? Fat Ninja say NO!

 Sarah Jessica Parker

Mavis Beyotch: Will someone remind me why people think this woman has taste and/or style?  I’ve seen more attractive straitjackets

Zipper Pull: So, I know this a couture piece, I know it took 100's of hours to make, I know you have choices as well. But, really, this 80's prom throwback is the best you could do? Did you lose a bet with Rachel Zoe???

Fat Ninja: When starvation diets just don't shed all those unsightly pounds, get the bodice of your dress designed to look like your skeleton and voila - I'm a SKINNY BITCH!

Gossip Boy: For one, you cannot wear a dress like that when one has to wonder if that is your bra or a belt.  Are they doing a Beetlejuice remake?

 Jessica Simpson

Mavis Beyotch: I have two questions:  where did her breasts go and do those flaps serve any purpose at all?  It takes a fine mind to figure the thing to add to a curvy body is useless bits of fabric.

Zipper Pull: Okay a 3peat offender, so I will give 3 responses, pick your favorite. A)Judy Jetson called, she wants her dress back B)Exactly how uncomfortable are you poor boobies?? The poor things look like they are in a vice. C)At least your NOT wearing Lea Michelle on your shoulder this time.

Fat Ninja: After trying her hand at every music genre on earth over the past decade, JSimp is going to see if she can top the Outer Space Charts in the future. LG is sponsoring the red carpet walk to her Time Machine Rocket Ship. Bon Voyage!!

Gossip Boy: She is giving up Hollywood to be a stewardess. I want my peanuts, Bitch.