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Sunday, May 9, 2010

Meet Reformed Rita



Reformed Rita has come a long way in her Hollywood career.  She came from a well known family and appeared to be friends with all the right people. Rita was the kind of girl that all party girls looked up to and everyone wanted to be seen with.  Not only did she last until the bar closed, Rita was connected to just about everybody in HW.  And when I say everybody, I mean the suppliers.

After some hard partying years, Rita realized she was knock, knock, knocking on Heaven's door and found a man that would help her stay sober.  Girl actually enjoyed her new life and became someone with class and morals. She left her past life behind and didn't look back.  She even ditched a long-time druggie boyfriend that seemed to have a soft spot in her heart.

But years of being straight laced have seemed to get on Rita's last nerve and she has recently been sneaking away to her old haunts.  Just when it seemed that Rita was on the right track and America had finally accepted her new image, she is dangerously close to falling right back into the pile of snow that is waiting for her.  Only this time the stakes are higher and if Rita doesn't watch out, she will lose a hell of a lot more than her reputation.  After losing so many friends to drugs, you would think this woman might be able to enjoy the simple things in life instead of trying to avoid reality all together. 

She has already began cracking around the edges and having temper tantrums that are just embarrassing.  It won't be long before Rita self-destructs completely. And when she does, boy what a show it will be.

It's Not:
Paris Hilton
Katherine Heigl
Julia Roberts

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nicole Richie!!

"the simple things in life" clearly alludes to her show The Simple Life

"well known family" - her dad is lionel richie!

Anonymous said...

Drew Barrymore

Anonymous said...

I was actually thinking Britney Spears. She was a party girl for awhile.

Anonymous said...

NOT PARIS HILTON??? Damn, I was ready to bet the entire national deficit Rita is that stupid bitch.
If it's Nicole, then that is truly sad.

Princess Pine said...

I hope it isn't Nicole, but the clues certainly point in her direction.

Anonymous said...

Nicole

Anonymous said...

Drew Barrymore comes from a famous Hollywood family and she's had problems with drugs before.

Anonymous said...

I think Nicole Richie. She does have a lot more to lose now. DJ AM could be the old boyfriend. Sad!

Anonymous said...

Drew fits it all.

Anonymous said...

I think it's Drew Barrymore but I'll still be disappointed if I'm right.

Anonymous said...

Drew. There have been rumblings for awhile.

Tania said...

Carrie Fisher! ;-)|

(kidding)

pomme said...

Drew B or Nicole R ?
i say Nicole R because nicole R had a temper tantrum with her guy during an Oscar Party(Buzzfoto BI revealed this week)and she lost DJ Am(her ex) recently
Very sad because she beautiful kids

Anonymous said...

Melanie Griffith

Anonymous said...

kate hudson

Anonymous said...

Drew or Britbrit.....

Jessica said...

Gotta be Nicole...she has kids now, more to lose. What's so different about Drew's life from 5 years ago?

Anonymous said...

It sounds like either Drew Barrymore (Knock, Knock, Knockin' on Heaven's Door = reference to Charlie's Angels) or Nicole Richie ("...the simpler things in life" = reference to The Simple Life).

I'm leaning towards Nicole Richie for this one because Drew was literally a child when she went through her drug/alcohol issues. Nicole Richie's issues were in the past few years and she was old enough to have been a party girl. Also, Nicole is the one with kids and a fiancee to lose now. And her ex-fiancee od'd.

Anonymous said...

this screams Nicole Richie. Everyone always talks about how far she has come since meeting Joel and becoming a mom, she is (or was) a shadow of the Nicole who drove illegally on the wrong side of the road and was found with cocaine on her. I doubt it's Drew Barrymore, because she's been sober for quite a while, whereas Nicole has only been sober for about 4 years.

blc said...

Drew isn't sober

Anonymous said...

drew never claims to be "sober". She has even discussed this on talk shows back during her whip it tour. That said, she never had an image problem. America was sad for her and that was like 30 years ago anyway.

This would have to be someone like Nicole Ritchie who "re-invented" themself.

Anonymous said...

Um Hello!

KELLY OSBOURNE anyone???

She comes from a well known family & has been struggling with drugs for many years until a few years back when she got her shit togheter & became clean.

"became someone with class and morals", now she has lost a lot of weight & all of a sudden changed her sense of fashion, putting on dresses she wouldn´t have wanted to be caught dead in before.

She also has a british boyfriend that seem to have tamed her.

Sorry Kelly, Im not buying it..