Coming Out The Closet

Have you ever really though about they way we view sexuality? Why is it more socially accepted to see girl on girl than it is to see two guys holding hands or kissing.  Katy Perry kissed a girl, and she liked it.  But if Bon Jovi or Justin Beiber sang a song about kissing a guy and liking it?  Can you imagine the storm it would cause?  And after Katy's song became a hit, and then faded, no one ever questioned her sexuality.  There are no rumors that she is a lesbian or that Russell Brand, her fiance, is in fact her beard.  Gay rumors follow so many male celebrities around and they usually come from one tiny thing that was witnessed that can be construed as gay.

Don't misquote me, there are gay men in Hollywood.  But you have to look at the whole picture to realize why exactly they are staying in the closet.  Not only are they told not to by management or agents, but they know the way some fans will look at them.  Fact is, two women together are more appealing.  I couldn't begin to tell you why, for obvious reasons.  That is what tends to lead men into agreeing to be seen with female celebrities.

Some gay males are actually so scared to admit they are gay, they convince themselves they are bisexual.  It gives them the chance to live out their gay side, but also hold onto the straight side of them.  And men associate straight with being masculine.  Actually, most of America does. People have an image of what they think is a gay man.  They expect us to come sashaying into the room on a rainbow with sparkles coming out of our mouths as we speak.  And who wants to put themselves into that mold?  I sure as hell don't.  I have met guys who have claimed that they were straight and were homophobes.  When they met me and found out that I was gay, they were blown away.  They thought all gay guys were them same. It's that stereotype that leads guys to stay in the closet, or marry a woman who they are comfortable with and just find some action on the side.

The poor wives and girlfriends sometimes know, but for the most part they have no idea.  No guy is going to admit to his girlfriend that he is attracted to another man.  In Hollywood, for the most part, women know what they are getting themselves into.  When you are a celebrity, you become a product.  And to sell that product, you have to make it look as appealing as possible.  Putting a pretty girl on your arm is more attractive to people then putting two gay guys holding hands at on the red carpet.  And when the girls find out, they are usually crushed.  I can name two female celebs who found out their boyfriend was bi or gay and they lost it.  One has been in and out of rehab and the other is one hell of a hot mess.

In my own personal experience, I realized I was gay in elementary school.  I thought my gym teacher was hot and I knew something wasn't right.  I still met girls that gave me the heart pounding, and the butterflies and figured I was just confused.  In fact I had girlfriends for awhile until I realized I was lying to myself and to them.  I never admitted it to her until the very end.  I knew that the minute she found out, our relationship would be over.

And I loved the girl, but I wasn't in love with her.  I think that is what a lot of bisexual men or closeted gay men feel.  The woman becomes your safety blanket that keeps your masculinity.  The biggest fear of closeted gay men is damage to their ego.  Their are gay men who know that they are gay their entire life.  The ones that my dog knows is gay.  And there is nothing wrong with knowing who you are and being yourself.  Saying fuck you to everyone that cannot accept you.  They are used to the hate and have built an armor.  The closeted ones have secured themselves so much that if they think coming out would make them a joke.  The first gay slur or laugh they got, they would be back in the closet in the fetal position.  I am out to about everyone who knows me.  When I am in a group of people, some that I have just met, I see a straight guy looking at me or whispering, I wonder if they are making a gay comment.

I shouldn't wonder that. I guess it is my insecure side coming out.  I could be completely wrong about it, but when you are gay you are used to the comments, the whispers and the stares.  Being who I am, people obviously look at me.  There is always that little voice in my head that says, they know your gay and they are making fun of you for it.  Sometimes I get really angry about it.  I used to wonder why I was gay.  Although I am comfortable with myself and have learned to love who I am, the way we are viewed sometimes makes me want to be straight.  But it's not that easy.  Once I see a picture of Kellan Lutz or Ryan Reynolds, I know that there is no turning back.  I see a girl and I check her out still.  And I will be the first to say a girl is hot, or beautiful.  I do take notice to women, but seeing a woman take off her top does nothing like seeing Kellan Lutz jogging with his man business flopping back and forth.  When people say it's a choice, I want them to point out when I got the letter asking me if I wanted to be gay.

WE are the reason that gay men are scared to come out.  The reason that women find out after two kids and ten years of marriage that their husband is gay.  The reason we are forced to see fake couples all over the internet, and television.  Until we change the way gay men are looked at, then we are the problem.  Notice the female celebrities usually come out on their own.  Gay men are shoved out of the closet, usually by the fuck tard named Perez.

You want the lies to stop?  You want to make the world better so that if your son is gay, he can admit it and not be forced to live a lie?  Then change the way you think. We have to change they way gays are viewed.  We cannot expect Hollywood to do it for us.  Lord knows, they already control too much of what people do. Don't let the word gay be used as a synonym for bad or stupid.  If you want a revolution, start with yourself.  It's the only way things will ever change.