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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

So, Megan Fox Has Only Slept With Two Guys....

So Megan Fox has reportedly confessed that contrary to her image and people's personal beliefs, she has only slept with two men.
"I've only been with two men my entire life. My childhood sweetheart and Brian. I can never have sex with someone that I don't love, ever. The idea makes me sick. I've never even come close to having a one-night stand."
She is supposedly on a mission to change her image and put on more of a maternal front.

Here are some tips:

We never would have thought you were a slut if you hadn't been all over God's creation talking about vagina power, your bisexuality, and flaunting your goods in any magazine that gave you a lollipop and a photographer.  Plus, what about the rumors of her hooking up with Rob?


As for supposedly wanting to be more maternal!  Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, please tell me you are not considering becoming a parent.  Look,  we get that your attempt at a career with Jennifer's Body was a huge bust, and that if you are not being chased by robots from the 1980's or laying half-naked on some variety of erotic surfaces, than nobody gives a shitbag about you.

I am so tired of people that realize they have no one that likes them deciding to have kids.  No one likes you for a reason so now you have to give birth to your own fan club?  Please girl, just put on some clothes, shut your mouth, and take some acting lessons.  You live with a 90's icon for Pete's sake, if that isn't a reality show waiting to happen I don't know what is.

13 comments:

Discobitch said...

sounds like bad management to me :( anyone wanna bet that they'll end up with their own MTV show???

Anonymous said...

LMAO, you are hilarious GB! I think you are funnier than Chelsea Lately

Hokey Poker said...

You crack me up man,
"give birth to her own fan club"

Well, slap my ass and call me Poppa!
(to quote you again!)

Anonymous said...

You are spot on about her.
She is definitely trying to create a new image since the old one did not work. Right on about acting classes, but I'm not sure if that will even help. You either have talent or you don't, I think the latter. And what's this comment about Rob, gawd forbid. I don't think Kristen would have him if ever did anything with her.

Anonymous said...

discobitch, oh my gosh, I bet they will.. I can see that, MTV reality show. Let's play a game on here and name the show..lol.

Anonymous said...

This is the funniest thing I've read all day - and believe me - I've been readin' LOTS today ;).

Anonymous said...

AMEN!

Anonymous said...

BEST POST! you need your own late night show

Anonymous said...

Oh Yeah! I read that rumor about Megan and Rob hooking up around the time of the oscars last year (pre-Kristen/she was still on/off with Mike and yanking Rob's chain. Hmm...apparently she was on a Brian break and they were at the same bar in hollywood and then the next night they met at the Palihouse hotel to hook up. Can u confirm/deny this GB? I've always been curious if it was true. Talentless as she is, most straight dudes would still hit it. Truefax.

Anonymous said...

Loves it! Best blog post I've read all day :)

Anonymous said...

I liked the post, but the post SMACKS of having been written by a girl. So GB is truly out of the town, and Gigi takes the reigns?

Discobitch said...

hmmm names for the show........ lets see, how about:

The Skank and The Hasbeen?
90s Leftovers and their Ho's?
Who Are They Again??

and my personal favourite:

Why The Fuck Are We Watching This???

:D

The Gossip Boy And Gigi said...

All me, Love