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Friday, May 7, 2010

Gossip Boy's Fashion Police

Gossip Boy's Fashion Police have been assembled and no celebrity is safe from these snarky cops.  Everyone welcome Mavis Beyotch, ZipperPull, and Fat Ninja to the Gossip Boy site and prepare to laugh your ass off as they struggle though the best and worst dressed in town.

 Betty White
Mavis Beyotch: Betty White should teach a class on how to look elegant and appropriate to starlets everywhere.  Kristen Stewart, we’ll front you the tuition

ZipperPull: You dress like my Grammy and I love it. PERMA PASS!

Fat Ninja: She looks impeccable. Then again, she could have worn an onion sack and marshmallow earrings & I'd call it genius. You don't mess with Betty White.

Donatella Versace
Mavis Beyotch: Did your parents ever try to convince you the boogie man didn’t exist?  They were wrong.  Here she is.

ZipperPull: Aw honey..  when did Karl Lagerfeld start doing drag? Keep making dresses for other people though

Fat Ninja: Who invited Janice to this shindig?

 Giuliana Rancic
Mavis Beyotch: I think there’s something growing on your dress!  Weed off works wonders

ZipperPull:  I said it before, a dark horse..this time in a pink dress (which btw is very hard to fit a horse for)

Fat Ninja: I hope those flower appliques are pockets holding cheese & crackers. Sister's bones are about to break through.

 Lea Michele
Mavis Beyotch: I love this dress.  I want to have babies with this dress.  She looks incredible.

ZipperPull: Too monotone, color is your friend, and gold satin is not (u look more preggo than Quinn Fabray)

Vera Farmiga
Mavis Beyotch: Congrats on the new baby.  Maybe it was hormones that made you pick out this “dress.”  Part Western dance hall, a little Gone with the Wind, a lot fug.

ZipperPull: Okay, are you preggo too? Cause if you are you get A pass. Sophie Theallet for Gap, "you too can look like a Barvarian milkmaid going the dance in the town square"

Fat Ninja: Old Time Photos must have been running late, she didn't have time to change into her Met Gala dress.

 Nicole Richie
Mavis Beyotch: I didn’t know they were remaking Beetlejuice.

ZipperPull: Gloria Swanson called and she wants her dress back (I SECRETLY THINK SHE LOOKS DELISH)

 Taylor Swift
Fat Ninja:AKA Taylor Swivel. When Striking that Perfect Pose consists of shoulders facing east, knees facing west.

ZipperPull: Snough with the pretty sweetie we get it! Show some freakin' edge! I suggest trying vintage Gautier or really vintage Courrege.

Rachael Ray and John Cusimano
Mavis Beyotch: John Cusimano: There is an art to black on black.  This isn’t art

ZipperPull: Rachel looks fine for TV cook I guess (and I mean a Tranny) your voice elicts an anger response from me
 Jessica Szohr
ZipperPull: In Atelier Versace- Looks pretty damn amazing, insanely beautiful dress, thing is.. she F'd 3 people to get the dress, 4 to get the ticket, another 2 at the door, gave the driver a handy J, and made out with the cocktail waitress.  and none of them had even asked.....


Anonymous said...

lol love how taylor swift is tagged as "taylore swift"

Anonymous said...

...ha ha...luv the fashion police! comments had me rollin...and betty can do NO wrong..

Dragonlady said...

~sigh~ okay okay I give...GB is going to have to be my homepage. Too many 'lishous things on here. You fashion polistas are too good to miss. Love it!
Now somebody sic Betty White on Taylor and Jessica!

rog457 said...

Love the new additions to the site, had me rolling.

Donatela Versace doesn't even look human any more.

AsstGeek said...

Zipperpull, am so glad you got the actual count of Jessica's sexual favors. Fine reporting! *grin*

Hollowdoll said...

This was histerical! Thanx!

zipperpull said...

@asstgeek and i didn't even take into account what did to get hair and makeup done.