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Thursday, April 14, 2011

Dear Gossip Boy

Dear Gossip Boy,
I am happy that you have returned to us once again. How is our beloved Justin Case doing? Will we be hearing about him soon?  Please keep in touch as much as you can! XOXO

Thank for the love! Justin has actually been seeing someone for a good bit of time now.  They seem pretty happy, except for the whole secretive thing.  Rainbow Dark on the other hand, he has left many a broken heart in his wake.

Gear Geebs,
Are you Drew Barrymore? I love you and I constantly an trying to track you down.

Dear Delusional,
I love you too, but a penis I do have.

Dear GB,
What is Bradley Cooper going to do now that he finally pulled out of Renee.  You words, not mine.We always knew that they wouldn't last.  What did he see in her?

Renee is a very nice woman.  I'm sure Bradley saw something in her.  Best believe that Mr. Cooper is on track right now.  He has a plan that he thinks will take his career to the next level and even though Renee is as tiny as a Smurf turd, there wasn't any room for her.

Gossip Boy,
Is there any truth to the rumor that Rob and Kristen are secretly married?  Reese asked him about adjusting to being married.  WTF is up with that? Please tell me!!!!!!

Are you butt effing serious with your question?  I know you Twilight fans are very internet savvy and I am sure that if they had secretly got married, the person breaking it would probably be in pigtails and footsie pajamas.  Besides, do you really think they will last that long after Breaking Dawn?  That's really what the end of the Mayan Calendar is about.  The end of Robsten.

Have you ever worked with anyone in the Scream movies?  You seem the cast and the movies.  PS, I just found you an had to call out of work today because I spent all night online reading your blog and fan community.

I am glad you found me!  I hope the sick day was worth it.  As for the Screamers, I am just a fan of the flicks.  I have never been in Scream of any other horror movie.  Well, technically I guess no horror movies.  It scared the daylights out of me though.

Gossip Boy,
Please explain to me why a A-List actor, as you have called yourself, would even think about coming up with a gossip blog?  This is career suicide and I think that you are a fake.  No one would do this, especially not Jake Gyllenhaal.  Get over yourself!

Dear Perez,
Why the hate, babe?  You really want to know why I started this?  I got tired of reading about false stories, and insanely unbelievable blind items.  I wanted to actually give people something to read that is true, and entertaining.  This is my personal collection of thoughts and views on the world.  Do I think that it matters what I think.  No.  This is for fun, a break from the hassles of your day.  Career suicide?  How?  You might think you know me, but you have no idea.  And what the sweet Lady Gaga does Jake Gyllenhaal have to do with anything??

Do you ever think you would take the blog mainstream and give everyone a run for their money?  You have won me over from Ted, Lainey and Perez and I have spread the word at work.  I cannot wait for the day to hear about the blog on E!.

Thank you so much.  I have no plans to make the blog anything more than it already is.  I am not in this to dominate the gossip blogs or to run anyone out of town.  I just like to offer an alternative.  My blog is the cute little bed and breakfast on the other side of town, away from the huge hotel chains like E! and Lainey.

Gossip Boy,
Is Black Sheep Britney Spears?


Dear GeeBee,
I have researched and totally solved the Ice Queen blind.  It's totally Emma Stone.  I heard she slept her way into Spiderman.

Dear Laurie,
You are so far off.  Did you read the right blind?  Emma is so talented that she might have been able to win her roles by simply sleeping.  But she has never had to do anything sexual for a role.

Dear Gossip Boy,
For the longest time you led us to believe that McHottie was Chace Crawford.  Now you are saying that he isn't?  Are we supposed to believe that Penn Badgley is McHottie?  He doesn't seem gay to me.  I think you are backtracking.

Dearest Renee,
I don't think I have ever led you to think that Chace or Penn were McHottie.  Even though you are a little tart, I will tell you that either one of them or both of them know him.

Has Lady Gaga ever been a Blind that you know of?

Has Lady Gaga ever tried to hide anything that you know of?

Gossip Boy,
Are you really sending someone to Water For Elephants premiere to get pics for the blog?  You have got to get an interview with Rob!

Dear Mackenzie,
I am sending someone with a camera, but don't hold your breath for an interview.  I can't imagine trying to pull that one off.  I would have to hire reporters and then photographers and then before I knew it I would rule the world.  Actually.....


Hawt said...

What fun!

Anonymous said...

Fantastic! Had me ROFL several times! Very few people do that to me. Thank you! :D

PS: McHottie is totally Chace.

udontknowme22 said...

Nice to have you back Gossip Boy, you have been missed :-)

Anonymous said...

So many connections within this Dear GB... it's like I'm wearing 3D glasses.

Anonymous said...

Dear Gossip boy, I'm so happy to see your back. I really missed you.I just wish you had more info on Rock jock and did Rainbow Dark leave him broken hearted also.

BobNYC said...

Wait, has anyone firmly (ahem) established that Drew Barrymore DOESN'T have a penis?

Anonymous said...


Urno Talbot said...

That is a photoshopped Jake, right? The first time I saw it was last year and it was said to be fake.

Anonymous said...

^ Are you serious?

MrsGeeBee said...

Anonymous said...

There's a Mrs. GeeBee?? What the hell?? When did this happen??

Anonymous said...

LOL @ "tiny as a Smurf turd"