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Friday, May 14, 2010

Gossip Boy Fash Bash

The trio is at it again, ripping Hollywood's finest apart with their feeble attempts of being fashionable.  Hope you aren't drinking anything while you read this because there is a good chance it may come out your nose.  And just for fun I decided to throw my two cents in.




 Fat Ninja









ZipperPull










Mavis Beyotch
 Rihanna
Fat Ninja- After joining the Woman's Lacrosse team, Rhianna realized costume changes were gonna be tight between show & game. She asked her designer to create a dual purpose outfit.

ZipperPull- This is a stage costume and I think it's wonderful.  She takes risks, not everyone can wear Kanyes broken sunglasses and $3.89 worth of tape and make it look good.

Mavis Beyotch- Stephen Hawking was right.  The aliens do NOT come in peace!

Gossip Boy- She wanted to create some cool tan lines so on bored days at the beach, they can play checkers.

 Jessica Simpson
Fat Ninja- When you have to work that hard to pop a collarbone out, a one shoulder dress is the wrong choice. And when people are ragging on your weight, wearing a dress made from a mixture of my mother-in-law's sun room wicker love seat fabric & bubble wrap isn't helping your cause.

ZipperPull- This girl needs to replace everyone of her gays STAT.  Hideous pattern, ill fit, weird ass eye make-up and the pile of recycling on her shoulder all add up to a gigantic mess in a dress.  Think SIMPLE Jessica, it can't be much of a stretch for you.

Mavis Beyotch- First rule mother teaches: curvy girls do not need to add bustles, even on the shoulders.

Gossip Boy- Why is Jessica Simpson becoming the place bad fabric goes to die?

 Lady Gaga
Fat Ninja- Fat Ninja's Doppelganger. No, really! I almost mistook her for myself as I wore that identical outfit to Whole Foods just last week.

Gossip Boy- Haven't we all had those Mondays when we get to the office and realize why we had that nagging feeling that we forgot something?


 Sophia Bush
Fat Ninja- Just daring you to tickle her ivories.

Mavis Beyotch- Sophia, I’m not sure wearing a dress of piano keys is going to make the Glee guys cast you for next season.

Gossip Boy- Sophia learned that Austin liked playing the piano and thought she could fool the poor boy into touching her girlie parts.

 Kim Kardashian
Fat Ninja- Inside the bag being carried off to the right, are the tools that will eventually remove the rivets holding Kim's jeans onto her.

Mavis Beyotch- How does she not topple over like a child's Barbie dolls?

 Catherine Zeta Jones
Fat Ninja- This is what blowing ass with style looks like. Yes, Fat Ninja knows a fart stance when Fat Ninja sees one.

Mavis Beyotch- Poor child, she looked better naked in Allure.

Gossip Boy- Someone should tell her that they serve food inside.  Smuggling a watermelon in between her thighs was unnecessary.

Fat Ninja- Trying to distract the thing on the top with the things on the bottom. Not working. Fat Ninja's advice: Go with Black. For everything.

Mavis Beyotch- The SECOND rule mother teaches:  black suit, black shoes.  Did no one listen to their mothers?

ZipperPull- It would be nice to see a man in this column.  Boring, boring, boring.  I will assume the shoes are to distract us from the hair plugs.

Gossip Boy-  All I can say is, seriously?

ZipperPull- A very sweet little dress, she pulls it off marvelously.  JSimp... take note.

Mavis Beyotch- Mavis decrees:  No more plants growing out of the dresses!

Gossip Boy- Sorry, but this dress make it look like her boobs hit her waist. Is it just me or did she wrap a shower curtain around her and slap a flower on her shoulder?

ZipperPull- Her hip bones are so sharp, they sliced a hole clean through the dress.  Can a girl live on d*ck alone??  Perhaps, if she ate her words she would fill out a bit more.

Gossip Boy- I don't know if Alexander banged her crooked or she is trying to look like she has curves.  Regardless, such energetic posing like that has hip replacement written all over it.  P.S I DO NOT need to see your itty bitty tittie committee memberships.






12 comments:

Anonymous said...

..ha ha..i so love fashion friday's! great giggles to start my day. thought k.k. was cher at first inspection...oh oh, may have to do something about my sagging bb's, i wonder if ppl think that with everything i wear too,doh. i like ur 2cents gb!...:)

Anonymous said...

Still laughing about itty bitty titties committee.

And, no, a girl cannot live on dick alone!

Dragonlady said...

Ha Ha love the Fashion Fridays!! You guys are too sharp, Blackwell better look out he's got competition, finally.

Did you know that Jensen Ackles was in the movie "Blonde" ages ago, yes the same one...Interesting. Have any of you seen it?

rog457 said...

Love this column, so much snark and I agree with everything, does that make me a bad person?

Felix said...

Some so called fashion choices are just soooo wrong.

Love your fashionista's comment, and too true you cannot live on dick alone, banging those bones must be painful.

blc said...

Did she check the mirror before she left? Since when are pancake tits not offensive? Put a f*ing bra on...no one wants to see that.

Anonymous said...

Love Kate's dress and what's wrong with small breasts? I'm happy there are women in Hollywood who hasn't had a boob job. Picking on Kate's weight is getting tedious. Half the women hitting the red carpets in Hollywood are the same weight as Kate.

Anonymous said...

Yay Kate for not getting a boob job, but dont wear something that you can see through. i think that was Gbs point.

Anonymous said...

Kate's dress has two layers of fabric, you can't see through it... and the itty bitty comment was in bad tast and not funny at all.

Anonymous said...

clearly you are a member. Sad that you haven't learn to deal with it, Mrs. Seriousness

Hollowdoll said...

Sophia Bush Just daring you to tickle her ovaries.

Anonymous said...

Catharine and her watermelon...LMAO