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Saturday, June 11, 2011

Saturday Morning Blind

Rise and shine my little gossipers.  I hope that this early Saturday blind doesn't find you hungover.  Any true party boy or girl can drink like a fish and appear at Saturday morning brunch looking as if they just returned from a holiday.

Much like Jager Bender and his flock of friends.  J.B is the the ring leader in this group of up and comers.  The group opts for private house parties instead of the usual paparazzi laced venues.  Since J.B is a tad more famous, the parties tend to take place at his luscious digs.  Only a select few are even aware of these parties, never more than 15 guests.  From actors and actresses, to writers and comediennes, the guest list read like the credits to a summer blockbuster.




J.B is the host with the most, loving the attention he gets from hosting such events. Problem is the he usually becomes the host with the most alcohol digested into in body.  J.B soon becomes the life of the party, which is pretty much routine.

But one night, the Jager took over J.B a little too much.  He was feeling the love that evening, the love for no one but himself.  He stood in front of a full length mirror as he took shots, admiring his rippled physique.  One guest actually tried to tell J.B goodnight, but he had tuned everyone out.

As the party wrapped, one last guest went looking for J.B to make sure he was okay.  She found him spread out on the ground by the pool, naked as a jaybird.  There in all his glory, J.B had the most sexual encounter he had ever had.....with himself.  As he cheered himself on, the guest left.  She said she heard him climax as she got back into the house, and he yelled good job when he was done.

The next morning J.B had brunch scheduled for the hungover crowd. The guest who caught  him in the act was appalled when he acted as if nothing had happened.  She said the day went fine until they were playing Wii.  J.B's team had scored and as he yelled good job, our little big mouth friend cracked up and flung the Wii-mote across the room.

Baby, you know you are too sexy to be greedy!  Share the love J.B before your palms get so hairy that the only movie you will be doing in Planet Of The Apes.


It's Not:
Alex Pettyfer
Garrett Hedlund 
Tom Sturridge

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ryan Seacrest.

Anonymous said...

Chris Colfer!

(I kid, I kid).

Jamie said...

Skarsgard

Anonymous said...

James Franco

Canuck said...

Not Skarsgard. He'd have been cheering himself on in Swedish had it been him.

Anonymous said...

Wow!

dreuthoff said...

I think JB is Justin Bartha, he's got the blockbuster Hangover 2 out this Summer and he's newly single and ready to party!

Anonymous said...

Robert Pattinson. Who else is the head of a little pack of up and comers? I guess it would help to know if it's a group of Brits or Americans.

Anonymous said...

Suspects: Franco is in the Apes movie, was a suspect in a BV involving pool-boy role play and knows writers. (But is he considered ripped?) Justin Bartha has the correct initials for the blind. RPatz loves beer but has no luscious home, unless it's a rental, and isn't a truly ripped kind of guy like Kellan Lutz but he matches the "It's Not" list. Pettyfer is a Brit, Sturridge his bff and Hedlund is Sturridge and Kristen Stewart's co-star.